Soo.. About Amazonia Lagos — Honest Review

When my friend shared the link to visit, I knew this place was just vibes. Like you know those IG hair vendors that only advertise really good hair and then when you order what you get is not what you saw? Yeah, that was the vibe I got about Amazonia, but I decided to try anyway.

The Ambience/Customer Service

I got there late, my friend already seated but you wouldn’t believe the power was down, Nigeria can disgrace anybody o! We sat for a while at the dimly lit restaurant. I wasn’t impressed 4/10, jokingly said we ought to get a discount for our meal because I mean?? My friend laughed but I was serious (We didn’t get any discount by the way, el o el)

Power finally came on and I was able to get a proper view of the place and mate, I was NOT impressed 6/10. Personally, I thought the place was small and the aesthetics could be better, this was not what I saw on Youtube at all. We ordered our meals and when we couldn’t get any nice places for photos except the elephant place, we were advised to go outside. (Apparently they had space upstairs but it was reserved for special occasions, was genuinely displeased and surprised. Like, sis, I just want a nice photo. I didn’t dress up to come and only eat here) Alsooo, Kappadocia had some places reserved and even under construction but had let us take photos so I didn’t understand this one. Anyhoo, we made our way outside for our photos and shortly after was told our food was ready. Food came pretty fast, was impressed 8/10.

The Gorilla

We asked after the gorilla. I mean if I’m paying I must experience everything there is to experience. Was told the gorilla was running late. Uhm.. okay.

The Food

I had initially ordered the Cabonara (N11,000) but changed to Paella (N19,000) when I saw a plate of it going to a table and It looked really good! The taste was even better! A strong 8/10, portion was also pretty generous 8/10. Amazonia Chef, if you’re reading this and you’re single and you love Jesus, call me! Really wanted this story to end nicely but my friend’s food wasn’t great. He had ordered T-Bone (N22,500) but man, the meat was awful. It was hard (we asked for very well done, as per Nigerians), dry, and it lacked flavor. Was not impressed 2/10.

My order, paella
My friend’s order, T-Bone with mashed potaoes

Back to The Gorilla

Finally the gorilla came and I could see that mans was tired. Really wanted to look dude in the eyes, hug him, and whisper “It’s okay, you won’t have to do this for the rest of your life”

On the contrary, my friend was pretty excited and took some photos with him.

The experience was pretty much over and we prepared to leave.

The Review

If you ask me, Amazonia is overrated. Looks good in videos but not worth the hype for me. Overall, a strong 6/10 (Would have been an 8 for the food but I can’t get over the awful steak)




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Set in Stone

Set in Stone


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